Self-love is the best love because it comes from within. Having true self-love is the only thing that prepares you for a real relationship, conquering your fears, and attaining your goals. It’s about believing in yourself, having trust and confidence in yourself, and learning who you are and who you want to be.
Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Assume any links on this website are affiliate links with companies or products that I use and trust. I may earn a small commission at no cost to you, I just enjoy sharing my favorite finds with my readers!
Self-Care is Self-Love
Self-love is achieved through self-care. You need to take the time to dig deep and take care of yourself to see the bigger picture and your true self. Once you practice self-care, you learn more about yourself and how amazing you are. This is self-love – giving yourself the respect you deserve. Setting aside time to practice self-care is showing up for yourself. How can you be expected to show up for anyone else if you can’t even first do it for yourself?
Self-love can be seen as dating yourself. Giving that energy and excitement to a relationship with yourself can sound difficult, but it’s exactly what we all need. We need a deeper connection to ourselves. Taking the time to “woo” yourself and understand what makes you tick and what you like and dislike will only make it easier to be in a great relationship with another person. You will know what you have to give and take in a relationship.
How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you
Rupi Kaur
Self-Love is Not Selfish
We, especially as women, are used to putting others ahead of ourselves and running ourselves ragged trying to make everyone around us happy, usually at the expense of our own happiness. When we take the time to take care of ourselves, we are finally putting our foot down and saying, “I’m important and I need this.”
Self-love is not selfish; it’s necessary. Self-love is necessary for us to stay grounded, stay inspired, appreciate our lives, and build confidence we may have lost along the way. What do you strive for? What do you love doing that has fallen out of the picture? What can you do to be the best version of yourself? How can you feel great about yourself again? What can you bring into your life to make it the best it’s ever been?
Being a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, an aunt, an employee, all the hats we wear – they are all important and they can all be overwhelming at times. Taking the time for some self-love can pick you up and make you stronger – and better at all these jobs in the long run.
Acts of Self-Love
Acts of self-love can be as simple as getting enough sleep and as big as taking the reins to buy yourself a house. It’s how you show yourself that you will continue to show up for yourself, that you love yourself, and that taking care of yourself is a priority.
Simple Acts of Self-Love
- Get enough sleep every night
- Say “no” to plans you don’t want to partake in
- Make meals that you enjoy, that are healthy and filling
- Buy yourself a new sundress
- Treat yourself to a solo day doing whatever you want
- Focus on having a positive outlook
- MeditateÂ
- Practice acceptance of yourself and others
- Talk about yourself in a kinder way
- Appreciate your body and all it does for you
- Set boundaries with friends and family
- Spend time each day doing something you enjoy
- Get a pedicure
- Practice Mindfulness
- Get something done that’s important to you
Bigger Acts of Self-Love
- Set a budget for yourself to save for that house or vacation you’ve been dreaming of
- Take yourself on a solo date – to a movie, a concert, a weekend trip
- Learn a new skill that has always interested you, take a class – put the time and effort in
- Find your dream job and go for it
- Write the book, start the website, open the store – do the thing you’ve been putting offÂ
- Disconnect from social media for a while, limit distractions and focus on nature
- Take a bath, read a magazine, then binge-watch a show – no interruptions! (and make it a weekly occurrence)
Ideal Self VS Real Self
If you had to describe yourself to someone right now, how would you describe yourself? With self-love and kind, loving words about how great you are? Or in self-deprecating humor? Most of us are not our own biggest cheerleaders, but our own biggest critics. And we need to change that.Â
Try to see your ideal self vs your real self. Who are you right now? Who do you want to be? How can self-love get you there? A big part of self-love is identifying who you are and who you’d like to be, accepting the good and bad, and striving to improve – but being ok with taking the time to get there and realizing that you’re pretty great right in this exact moment.
Write it all down like this:
Ideal Self – Your Best Version of Who You Want to Be
What goals can you set to get closer to this version of yourself?
What values are most important to your ideal self?
Has your ideal self stayed the same or changed over time?
What do you have in common right now with your ideal self?
How close are you to becoming your ideal self?
Real Self – Who You Are Right Now
What are some great aspects about your real self?
What are you thankful for today?
What behaviors of your real self would you like to change? Or keep?
Is your image of your ideal self vs real self truly your image, or society’s, or your family’s?
Is your real self really that bad?Â
Sometimes we get so caught up in what we thought we would be doing right now, how we thought our lives would be going. Maybe a better job, a bigger house. But sometimes it all just works itself out. Maybe you don’t have the fancy job because it gives you more time with your kids. Which, in turn, led to having a smaller house.Â
Then you imagine that if you had that job and a big house, you’d have more time for yourself and self-care. But would you really? Wouldn’t you be just as busy with life in other ways?
Would you give up that time raising your kids to spend extra hours at work with a bigger house to clean? Sometimes we need to roll it back and put things into perspective. Look within ourselves at what works best for our lives right now. Take time for some self-love and understanding. Of course, it’s important to have goals and strive for the best in life, but sometimes the best is all around you, and you have to take a minute to see that.Â
It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
Diane Von Furstenberg
Fashion Designer
Practicing Self-Love
By practicing self-love, we can get to a place of happiness within ourselves and our souls. Have a new appreciation for the lives we have and what we are surrounded by. Live our lives on our terms. Encourage excitement in our daily lives. Become awakened to who we are and what we can make of ourselves. Learn to love yourself, and everything else will fall into place.Â
Looking for more on self-love? Buy Yourself the Damn Flowers by Tam Kaur is an excellent book on self-love. It’s all about learning to love yourself first, putting more time and effort into yourself, and focusing on who you are. A great read, it’s inspiring and a much-needed kick in the right direction!
